What a week! I can honestly say I haven’t felt like I felt this week in a long time. I was stressed out on so many levels and exhausted and emotional. But I was able to keep my self control most of the time and still did everything that had to be done. Okay, I had some help. H was consistent and committed to my every need and error for that matter.
I experienced two inetersting things this week. Sunday evening my dear husband decided to start my first week back at school with a stress reliever. So I was waiting on our bed for the man to enter. When he came in he announced that he will not be doing it with his hand like he planned since our eldest daughter was still awake in her bed. So he did it with a thin cane. Our evening together was very special where intimacy was concerned but for some reason the stress reliever did not feel effective, something was missing… his hand. For some reason, to me, his hand provides for that feeling of relieve.
Tuesday night I had a very long and tough day. H came home late and things just worked out in such a way that I was not done at 7pm because of my bad planning and exhaustion. H decided to handle it in a way he has never done it before. He did not spank me. I was thinking to myself that I just need to be alone and cry in a corner somewhere. Ironically, ten minutes later I was doing just that. You see, H ordered me to take off all my clothes and go stand in the corner where he could watch me while watching tv. It was my first time standing in a corner. To be honest, I always thought it was a silly idea. Grown women standing in a corner. After ten minutes he got up made me some tea and called me to kneel in front of him while drinking my tea. He then assured me that he was not angry or disapponted in me. But he wants me to know that he is serious about the rules he make and he needs me to take it serious too. Then he gently put his hand at the back of my head and pushed me down so I would put my head on his knee. Boy, did I cry. I cried because I was really tired, because we have a year full of changes and challenges waiting for us, because my youngest daughter was going to have her very first day in her new school the next day (she is my baby and she is growing up). I let everything out. He then pulled me onto his lap. I felt so cared for. I never thought that standing in a corner would be so appropriate, because to be honest I don’t think a spanking was the answer for that particular evening. What makes it so awesome, is that he knew it and chose to handle it differently.
Wednesday I got a stress reliever again, a proper one with his hand ;). Thursday I got a reminder spanking because I was forgetful.
To others it may seem that H was harsh since my week was so stressful, but it was because of his care and uncompromising love and discipline that I was able to get through this week without having a major melt down. I was able to keep my focus on my responsibilities even though my emotions was out of control on the inside. He was there for me every step of the way. Showing me that he’s got my back. I am safe in his arms, even though we are apart.
I just love the man!!!