What comes out of a kitchen drawer and makes a pretty good and effective quiet implement?

A teaspoon…

Oh yes that’s right, H discovered a teaspoonful of spankings works very well in a house with not so much privacy.

We were in the kitchen busy to get the last things done before we could settle down for the evening. He was making the hot drinks as always and I was cleaning the kitchen. I’ve been quite irritable that day and had reach a tone he did not appreciate very much earlier that day. It kind of sounded like this…

Our dog, the pitbull thinks she is my husband’s lover. She is madly in love with him and clearly knows that he is the boss. So whenever he is around, she does not listen to me at all. So after several times of calling her to get out of the house, I totally lost it because of many other things the led to my frustration. I raised my voice like a mad woman.

Me: Roxy, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT!!!

H: Joli, are you frustrated?

Me: No, I just want the d… (Trying to explain why the dog is working on my nerves)

H:I asked you if you were frustrated? Be honest.

Me: (with a sigh) Yes, I am.

H: Do you want me to do something about the way are acting now?

Me: No, I am okay.

H:  Well get your head straight.

That was the morning. Back to the evening in the kitchen. He asked me a question and I answered him with sarcasm and irritation all at once. He just kept quiet and went on with our drinks. I heard the drawer open so that he can get a teaspoon to stir the drinks, or so I thought. But I did not hear it coming in my direction before I felt the burning sensation on my behind caused by a teaspoon!

Me: OW!!!!!

H: Does it hurt?

Me: Yes it does! I assured him while rubbing my butt.

H: But does it hurt enough, stand still (swat,swat- he lets another three swats fall)

Me: Ouch!! I confirm his question again.

H: Hmmmm, this is an effective quiet implement. I think this will do the job when you are going to be over my knee later tonight. (He says while walking out of the kitchen to go put it next to our bed for later)

Later that evening when I put on the bedlamp the teaspoon mysteriously turned into a tablespoon. And let me tell you it is very quiet and painfull enough to make you want to kick, although not recommended!