Finding our own way

Hi there my friends and frequent readers. I know I have been gone for very long. Besides the fact that I am crazy busy, H also forbade me to blog for a while and I am also not allowed to read other blogs. Today I am going to write on my own blog. But I am still not allowed to read other blogs.

We have been through so many trial and errors these past few months where DD and life is concerned. In the middle of all this H just decided that he wants to cut down on all other influences in blogland and make sure that I focus on what is important and also on what we want to establish in our own lives without looking at others. At first this was very hard to accept and obey. Because I do realize now, that reading other blogs spiked my excitement and curiosity. And while it has it’s benefits to get to know other like-minded people and also get great tips and advice. Experiencing that I am not alone. This place, blogland can also be a consuming place. H felt it was getting too much and put and end to it soon after a very intense discussion. “We are who we are, we will find what works for us by focusing on our own lives, not on others as well.” He put his hand in the air to stop me from talking further and said “I am who I am, I’ll do what you need, not what you read about. You will read no more blogs untill I say you can.” That was it and if you know H’s character by now, you would know that was it. End of discussion.

Do I still get spanked? Yes. Punishments are much less. Privacy is one reason, but also… I enjoy making him proud and happy so obedience comes easier and more naturally. But I do get in trouble for bad planning every now and then. I struggle with that a lot. I am in contact with some close blog friends, this helps me more than reading blogs actually. Since, if I do ask for advice it is for me personally and not a post I read where I compare myself with their story. Plus I love them so much, H won’t be so cruel to keep me away from them too. They are good for me, H knows this.

We have been finding our own way, slowly but surely we are growing on our own. Making mistakes and learning from them. But we are who we are and becoming it, more and more.

About two months ago I had a miscarriage and during this horrible time I realized that just how very sweet and caring my very dominant, boss man can be. He patiently accepted my over emotional moments and cared for me when I was feeling sick and weak. Although he was still very firm about me eating healthy, drinking water etc. He had so much grace for me during this sad time. I love him so much…

Well this was short and sweet. Hopefully I’ll be back soon. Just saying I’m alive and happy….